| | I have these songs that I have saved up in my heart since I was probably twelve that someday I figured I would give to my husband on a mix tape... now CD. Now that I am as close to certain it's going to be Aaron as one can be without actually BEING married (no, we are not engaged yet people... but you all know it's a formality) the most ironic thing has happened. He made me a mix CD for our one and a half year that had an incredibly terrifying amount of songs that would have gone on my mix CD... and he has NO IDEA which songs they are nor have I ever hinted. He founds songs that are rare, B-sides, some by Enya for freaks sake and put them on this freaking CD.
Today we were listening to one of these songs, and he kept looking me in the eyes as if the song was his song (we were playing Skip-Bo, so the romance was a funny element to the competition). It's my song! But this is how whipped I am, I realized the songs I always dreamed would apply to the man I would spend my life with apply to me. This is exactly like how I thought that the man I wanted, my "type" was actually more discriptive of who I am then who I needed. I wanted Mr. Darcy, although always said I probably should be with Lloyd Dobler. Turns out I am Mr. Darcy and I got Lloyd Dobler. According to Aaron I am also House (yes, of House M.D.), Tony Soprano, Samantha Jones, Denzel Washington's charector from American Gangster, one of the squishy squid from Finding Nemo (Bad Squishy!), Troy Dyer and Angelina Jolie (accordning to Aaron). At least there are a few women in there! Apparently the fact I am secure with Aaron means I am crisply direct.
Just a moment ago I was listening to another song that would make this mix tape, sans Aaron, and I realized, that one is about me too. Does this mean I have secretely been in love with myself all these years? Or does it mean that I was always longing for someone who would see what I couldn't see about myself? Aaron showed me how strong I really am, and how much I need to rely on the people I am close to. I hate relaince. He calls it sactification. I guess that's the point.
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| | Posted 10/16/2008 9:18 PM - 32 Views - 4 eProps - 3 comments
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